Emperor penguin from Antarctic visits
New Zealand beach
"The Emperor Penguin (Aptenodytes forsteri) is the tallest and heaviest of all living penguin species and is endemic to Antarctica.
The male and female are similar in plumage and size, reaching 122 cm (48 in) in height and weighing anywhere from 22 to 45 kg (49 to 99 lb).
The dorsal side and head are black and sharply delineated from the white belly, pale-yellow breast and bright-yellow ear patches.
Like all penguins it is flightless, with a streamlined body, and wings stiffened and flattened into flippers for a marine habitat."
[MY NOTE: how streamlined is YOUR body, modern sedentary human?]
"Its diet consists primarily of fish, but can also include crustaceans, such as krill, and cephalopods, such as squid. In hunting, the species can remain submerged up to 18 minutes, diving to a depth of 535 m (1,755 ft).
It has several adaptations to facilitate this, including an unusually structured hemoglobin to allow it to function at low oxygen levels, solid bones to reduce barotrauma, and the ability to reduce its metabolism and shut down non-essential organ functions."
[MY NOTE: no, BAROTRAUMA does NOT mean the trauma induced by binge-drinking in bars.]
"The Emperor Penguin is perhaps best known for the sequence of journeys adults make each year in order to mate and to feed their offspring.
The only penguin species that breeds during the Antarctic winter, it treks 50–120 km (31–75 mi) over the ice to breeding colonies which may include thousands of individuals.
The female lays a single egg, which is incubated by the male while the female returns to the sea to feed; parents subsequently take turns foraging at sea and caring for their chick in the colony.
The lifespan is typically 20 years in the wild, although observations suggest that some individuals may live to 50 years of age."
Two adult Emperor Penguins with a juvenile on Snow Hill Island, Antarctica.
Courtship and breeding
What could humans emulate from the penguins' experience?
"The penguins start courtship in March or April, when the temperature can be as low as −40 °C(−40 °F). A lone male gives an ecstatic display, where it stands still and places its head on its chest before inhaling and giving a courtship call for 1–2 seconds; it then moves around the colony and repeats the call."
[MY NOTE: so here's what you do, if you are a lone(ly) man:
give an ecstatic display, as if you mean it, then place a courtship call.
Keep moving around, repeating the call.
"Can you hear me now?"]
[MY NOTE: (almost) any kind of human relationship will CO$$$T you something, somehow.
You better clarify upfront what it's gonna take.
Before mating, say: "Let me see the bill."]
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